Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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