Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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