I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
