i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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