She's JV to your varsity
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
