Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
