I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
