im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
