At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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