Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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