i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't deserve a penis
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
