Having a random hookup so left but love u
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
