Rock
Scissors
Fuck
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
