this boner is exhausting
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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