I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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