Got a toothbrush?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
