Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
