If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
