pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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