I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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