So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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