I heard we made out
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
