PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She told me I should be a condom model.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
