sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
