HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
