I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
