At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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