Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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