you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize