she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
why is half of my head shaved?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize