a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
