Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
