he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
