This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
