and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is Oprah even human
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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