i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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