The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
