she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
