Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
