Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
