actually, I'm a sock model
If that was your dad, he is hot
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
3 2 1 whiskey
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
