just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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