maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
