does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
