If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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