it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
