Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
