So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize