So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
