This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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