More tranny stories later!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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