just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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