ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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