i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
3 2 1 whiskey
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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