I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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