You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
