i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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