Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
