Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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