My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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