dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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