I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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