You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize