im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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