We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Quick, to the slutcave!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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