No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
