so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
