the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
