why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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