She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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