Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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