i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
