Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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