There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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