Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
