I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
