The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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