Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
