so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
