Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
